So today is an exciting day, if you couldn't already tell from the day counter near the title, today is the 1 year anniversary of my group arriving in Timor-Leste! It's been a fairly good year and I'd say I've learned a lot of lessons on how to work with people and how to adapt to different cultural settings. I've had a bit of trouble trying to decide what to do for this post, but after thinking about it for a little while I think I'll write a list below of the things I've learned from the last year. So here it goes:
- Make friends with your group, and don't forget to foster those relationships.
- By this I mean make friends in your Peace corps group, but also make friends at site. It may seem obvious, but making friends is one of the best ways to fulfill goal 2 of the Peace Corps!
- Have someone to confide in.
- If you're facing drama or just riding that emotional rollercoaster, then you'll want a buddy to talk about it with.
- Reach out to others.
- Especially for the more introverted folks, it can be easy to expect others to start the conversation, but if everyone thought that then nothing would ever get done.
- Take care of yourself mentally and emotionally.
- You are the only one who knows what you're feeling, so if you are starting to feel burnt out then don't feel afraid of taking time for yourself. Just make sure to plan that time out so it doesn't become an excuse to avoid others.
- People lie, and it's not always because they are trying to be malicious or confusing.
- In many cultures, and even in Timor, you may have people agree with or express interest in a project, but when the time comes they may not actually want to (or may not be able to) participate in the work required to make it a reality. The best method I've found for finding the real interest in a project is to consult your Core Group, which transitions nicely into my next point.
- Find your Core Group.
- I used to call it my Core 5, but then the group grew larger, which is great! The basic concept here is to find likeminded people who are motivated and passionate about change. The things I've found to be the same with all of the people in my core group are; they are willing to give counterpoints or straight up disagree with ideas, they will give reasons for their thoughts when asked, they have goals that they are passionate about, and they are critical thinkers (at least sometimes 😅). These people will be the gatekeepers between your new ideas and the rest of your community, so make sure they're on your side.
- Do and don't see this as a job.
- This is a complicated one because even though as a PCV I'm expected to be professional and on the job 24/7, I'm also living with the people I serve. So, realize the scope of what you are doing and learn when it's important to be professional, but also when it's important to be real (even if the real you if a goofy meme lord like me 😆).
- Ask for help.
- This suggestion isn't some sort of PSA, but more of a tool. When you ask someone to help you, you make them feel important. What I've found is that as a volunteer it's easy to help others when they ask, but I've been hesitant to accept help from others because I don't want to be a bother. However, this kind of behavior will easily stunt relationships and make you seem more like a malae (foreigner), and less like a person who is here to help, so don't make that same mistake like I did.
- Make mistakes, and make them fast.
- Now by this, I obviously don't mean for people to go around acting like a courtroom jester and make a fool of themselves, but instead, I mean to be humble when you are unsure of or don't know something. A great example is the compost project that I've been working on! I fell into the trap in number 5 of thinking that when people say they like an idea, that they also wanted to participate in the idea. Now that I've learned from that mistake I can grow from it. So use your mistakes to fuel your successes, and do it faster than I did.
- Don't feel bad about saying no or setting boundaries.
- This one can be a little controversial because the first 3 months at site we are encouraged to say yes to most things, and this is great for creating better relationships and getting experiences under your belt. What I'm talking about though are things that you are truly against or feel uncomfortable with. In those circumstances, it is important to speak up and let others know that you feel uncomfortable. A good example of this is when I was invited to my first outing to another community. Everything was going well except for the fact that they forgot to let me know that we were going to be sleeping on a concrete floor for a week. Now I would have been fine doing this for a day, but after the 4th day I was pretty tired of it and as a result, I was starting to let it affect my interactions with others. So I let me CP know that in the future I would like them to let me know a bit more about the sleeping arrangments so that I can at least bring a sleeping bag if we were going to sleep on the floor like that again. It wasn't anyone's fault, but now in the future, I have set that boundary already and will be able to appreciate those trips better because of the boundaries I set. Don't feel like you are being a burden by saying no to something that is truly uncomfortable, but at the same time be willing to say yes to things that are new.
Okay so this turned into more of a Top 10 than anything, but I still had fun writing all this out. If you are a PCV or RPCV and disagree or want to add something to this list (or future lists) let me know in the comments or WhatsApp me if you have that number. Otherwise, this has been a great year an I look forward to sharing the next year with you all. If you have any friends who are joining the Peace Corps or going to Timor-Leste in general share this blog with them. Also, let me know what you want to see in the next post and what kind of stuff you be interested in me writing about. So with that, I'll see you next time and until then I'll leave you with this.
Time flies over us, but leaves its shadow behind.
~Nathaniel Hawthorne
P.S. A lot of the pictures below are from my trip to Lautem, so I hope you enjoy the "change" of scenery.
